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Deneen M. Seljan -  Imagery Birthing  "MOM"

Deneen M. Seljan of Bay Village, Ohio wrote... I recall sitting at lunch with several other female teachers and hearing the stories.  Teachers can be wonderfully descriptive, however, lunch and childbirth did not mix. Each woman had her own anecdote regarding her husband’s role in the event – the typical pacing, fidgeting with some hospital gadget, or the awkward one-liner.   In any event I swore off the entire experience – too much pain and way too much fluid.  I learned to eat quickly and whenever a cute baby appeared along with those special maternal instincts, I just strung garlic around my neck and reminded myself of the pain.  I knew I was not ready for this.

It doesn’t take much to imagine the fear I felt when I realized I was pregnant.  Labor wasn’t the only reason.  My husband and I had been married only seven months and I accepted a teaching position in a new district two weeks earlier.  We were not financially ready and I worried about explaining the news to my new employer.

As the months progressed I began dropping weight, the nausea was morning, noon and night and the pressure was increasing at work. I didn’t feel blissfully pregnant – I just felt sick and alone.  What happened to the glow?  While other couples I knew were dealing with fertility issues, I was feeling guilty and afraid.  Sharing my feelings only made me seem ungrateful.

After completing my first trimester and still feeling overwhelmed, I shared my concerns with my midwife.  I knew the importance of reducing stress and eating well, not just for my own health, but also for my baby.  She suggested I meet with Jeanne Engle, a licensed imagery therapist who specializes in relaxation techniques.  My first reaction was, “ How am I going to find the time and how much?” Nonetheless, my choices seemed limited so I made the appointment. 

After meeting Jeanne it took only five minutes for me to realize I made the right decision.  Prior to our appointment she had explained the program and that clients usually meet four times prior to giving birth.  Each session involved deep breathing and imagery techniques designed to help the body relax and do what it was made to do – give birth. Honestly, after our first meeting I really didn’t care if the program assisted my labor; just the fact I could relax in a comfortable recliner for 1-2 hours uninterrupted, and leave feeling like I slept soundly for 12 hours made the sessions worth it.  In actuality the sessions did help my laboring and in fact, they changed my entire experience.

During the sessions I had an opportunity to focus on nothing else but my thoughts, my body, and my baby.  Jeanne helped redefine my ‘image’ of childbirth and although I felt anxious about the laboring, I concentrated on being excited about meeting my precious baby.  My sessions gave me time away from responsibility and career centered thoughts and a chance to visualize how I wanted to welcome my child into the world. My husband and I also discussed various birthing plans in order to make an informed choice about our experience. We discussed my fear of an epidural, the possibility of water birth, using a birthing ball and much more.  The Imagery Birthing program also coached my husband in terms of his needs and how to help me when my labor began. Jeanne encouraged his participation in the experience and that in turn helped us feel prepared.  As a teacher I know too well how plans often fail and that labor probably wouldn’t feel as comfortable as Jeanne’s recliner.  So what really happened?

My estimated due date arrived and coincidentally I had a doctors appointment that morning.  The doctor informed us that I was presently in labor.  With every contraction I felt a surge of warmth and after several deep breathes the warmth subsided.  We left his office to pack an overnight bag and I needed to drop 3^rd quarter grades off at the high school; after doing so, we returned to the hospital.  We didn’t have police sirens or confusion, but on the contrary, everything seemed ready and calm.  My contractions still felt warm and hurrying never became an issue.  My sister actually arrived at the hospital before we did and looking back, she was nervous and could have benefited from the program.  I digress.  Within minutes I was resting comfortably surrounded by family in a private birthing suite at St. John West Shore Hospital. 

For most of the evening we listened to music and basically relaxed together, but as the evening progressed, my labor did not.  After three hours my contractions stalled at 6.5 centimeters, and although our plan was to have a natural birth, the doctor prescribed otherwise. The details of the next fourteen hours are unique to our childbirth, but the important aspect relates to how Imagery Birthing still helped.  I continued my relaxation techniques and any anxiety regarding the epidural subsided.  After sleeping for several hours and one hour of pushing our healthy baby girl was born.  Maybe our story doesn’t seem dramatic enough but that is exactly the point.  We traded bright lights and fast breathing for a calm and relatively private experience.  Imagery Birthing not only affected the birth of my first child, but it literally helped me look forward to my next.

I must confess that I understand why the ladies in the lunchroom enjoy discussing childbirth – it does feel like an accomplishment.  I must also confess however, that when my husband and I describe our experience, relaxing is usually the first word we choose.  I recall describing Imagery Birthing to my family and friends and the discussion of many birthing myths followed, but I am so thankful my husband and I remained open minded. I am also grateful that the staff at St. John West Shore was familiar with Imagery Birthing and supported our birthing plan along the way.   I still hear birthing stories that seem more like pain tolerance contests and I just take a deep breath remembering the warmth and love I felt holding our little girl only seconds after her birth.